In the last 20 years, has there ever been an occasion where someone has demanded respect and then actually gotten it?  I mean, anyone but Cartman.  Respect is earned, not received freely.  I lose respect for anyone who asks for it.  I lose all respect for anyone who demands it.  Anyone who demands respect is not confident enough in their own abilities to rely solely on those abilities.  They lose sight of what they are trying to accomplish.  They sabotage their own goals by attempting to force people into feeling something which just isn’t there…or worse, they ruin all of the “respect-capital” that they’ve already accumulated.

Nowadays, there are very few circumstances where respect is immediately given, no questions asked.  The military comes to mind.  But in the rest of real life, it is no longer a given.  Things have changed.  It’s not how it was 20 or 30 years ago.  But one thing hasn’t changed: actions speak louder than words.  Act like a leader, act like an authority figure.  Don’t talk about it.  People have too many options nowadays to succumb to your sad attempts at garnering false respect.

Since I’ve hit the yearly sports abyss where nothing is interesting, I’ve spent the past 2 weeks watching movies..all sorts of movies.  Here is a quick run through of some of the movies that have wasted my time the past two weeks:

Rambo - Exactly what you would expect from a Rambo movie: tons of Asians getting killed and a nonexistent plot.  4 out of 10 CR’s.

National Treasure: The Book of Secrets - Sequel to the far superior original, this is the prototypical rush job to a successful movie.  Nicolas Cage is one of my least favorite actors of alltime.  Ed Harris can’t decide whether he’s a good guy or an evil guy…just a suggestion, stick with evil…it suits you better.  Absurd scene where the President gets “kidnapped”.  5 out of 10 CR’s.

Premonition - Sandra Bullock film, which automatically results in -1 point.  Timeline is all over the place, which wouldn’t be so bad if I actually gave a shit about what was going on.  Husband is dead, no he’s alive, oops he’s dead again, nope alive…fuck you!  4 out of 10 CR’s.

Dot.kill - I had to look up the title of this film b/c I couldn’t remember if it was Dot.kill or Kill.dot, mainly b/c neither one made any sense, much like the rest of this movie.  A blatant rip off of far better movies such as Untraceable and Fear.com, and those movies sucked ass.  I could make a better movie with a camcorder, some duct tape, and a capuchin monkey.  Random observation: is it just me or do capuchin monkeys seem like they would give great hand jobs?  2 out of 10 CR’s.

The Happening - Die, M. Night Shyamalan, die!  Try writing an ending next time.  4 out of 10 CR’s.

Devour - Devil movie.  I’ve seen these movies before, I’ll see them again.  Nothing new here.  Thank God he didn’t bang his new girlfriend, b/c she ends up being his mother, who just happens to be Satan.  3 out of 10 CR’s.

Night at the Museum - The only truly good movie I’ve seen recently.  Original plot, interesting characters, and a sequel in the making.  Nice supporting cast consisting of a pre-suicidal Owen Wilson, Dick Van Dyke (who I thought was dead…oops!), and Robin Williams (the comedic version, not the creepy version).  Stars a capuchin monkey, +1 point.  7 out of 10 CR’s.

The Messengers - Fast forwarded through the boring scenes, which turned this into a more manageable 45-minute movie.  Somewhat hot girl is only redeeming element.  What?  She’s only 18 now, 17 when she made this movie.  Ok, moving along…   4 out of 10 CR’s.

Jackass 2 - Funny and sickening all the way through.  Better plot than half of the movies on this list, only b/c they didn’t attempt to have a plot in this one.  Please put down the bottle of horse semen.  These guys are sick fucks.  6 out of 10 CR’s.

Yeah, yeah, yeah…I know.  I’ve been gone for a while.  But I have a good excuse.  I’ve been working hard and been really busy after work for the past two weeks.  But thankfully, things have started to settle down and I’ve gotten some much needed rest, so I’m back again!

Today, I found myself back at Starbucks.  Some CFW dropped her drink right in front of me.  It splashed all over the place.  By some miracle, nothing got on me.  And for some reason, the CFW didn’t apologize, didn’t clean anything up, and didn’t take responsibility.  She did, however, force the rest of us to wait while the barista made her another drink.  Too many CFWs at Starbucks.  And if you don’t know what a CFW is, it rhymes with untfacewhore.

Finally, after working for 11 straight days, I’m getting a day off tomorrow.  I’m not sure what I’m going to do with my day off…perhaps see a movie or something.  I rather enjoy going to the movies alone on a weekday afternoon.  There are no kids to annoy you.

I’m thinking I should go an see M. Night Shyamalan’s new flick, The Happening.  This will be his last chance with me.  The Sixth Sense was a great movie…top ten material.  Unbreakable and Signs were decent movies with shitty endings.  The Village sucked all sorts of ass.  And then there’s Lady in the Water, which would garner a negative California Roll rating.  So, now is the time for him to come up with another winner.

How far has Baseball Tonight fallen?  I used to be a BBT regular, back in the day when Ravech, Reynolds, and Gammons were regulars.  Now, I’m subjected to fucking John Kruk, Eduardo Perez (who?), Fernando Vina, and Chris Singleton, who is a spitting image of Freddy Krueger…………………………..sorry, I was momentarily paralyzed by Vina rambling on for 5 straight minutes.

I’ve been busy working the past week, so I haven’t had time to write any posts and, more importantly, make my NBA predictions.  Work will be over on Sunday, so I’ll be back next week for further posts.  It’s halftime of Game 1, but my predictions haven’t changed: Lakers in 6.

Every once in a while, you will come across a movie that totally ignores all semblance of common sense, logic, and reality.  Untraceable is one such movie.  This movie’s plot revolves around a serial killer who displays his “work” on a website.  The flood of visitors to the site results in a quicker death for his victims.  Very simple plot, yet they screw it up in many ways.

Here are a few of the problems:

- they reveal the identity of the killer too soon, and he’s really not very impressive, scary, nor intimidating

- there is an obvious-nice-guy-who’s-gonna-bite-it-by-the-end-of-the-movie factor in play

- the killer’s motivation is weak, forced, and ludicrous

- there are potential targets (grandmother, daughter) that just disappear mid-movie

- at one point in the movie, there are 17 million (17 MILLION!!!) people logged on to the site!  This guy should work in e-commerce instead of killing people

- the death traps are silly and over-the-top

- the protagonist, an FBI cyber crimes agent, gets her work laptop hacked b/c of her wireless connection

- there is an obvious don’t-get-back-in-the-car scene where, yup, she gets back in the car

- there is no discernible difference between computer technology and magic

I could go on and on, but I would break my keyboard if I listed all of the issues I have with this movie.  On the good side, it was so ridiculous, it was mildly funny, amusing, and entertaining in a way that was intended.

4 out of 10 California rolls

Well, tonight’s the night. All of the build up over the past 12 episodes this season leads to tonight’s 2-hour finale. What do we want to see? We want to see what “move the island” really means. We want to see exactly how the Oceanic Six get off the island, especially since they all are in separate places right now. We want to find out what happens to the freighter and the ton of C4 that’s on it right now. We want to see Claire (never thought I would say that) and her pop. And most of all, we want to see who’s in the f’ing coffin!

01:29 Nice…the recap contains clips from the coffin scene and the iconic Jack-Kate flashforward scene in Through the Looking Glass…the best scene ever. I think this is the first time I’ve ever gotten excited from watching the brief recaps…

01:58 …and the recap leads straight into the first scene, a continuation of that iconic scene. This episode is already great only 2 minutes in!

02:34 Jeremy Bentham is in the coffin. I’m starting to doubt my prediction that the guy in the coffin is Michael. At least we know it’s a guy.

03:41 A lot of bad shit happens on the day that they leave the island…which is probably today, island time, ergo, a lot of bad shit will happen in this episode. Kinda like in Rush Hour 3, but only in a good way.

05:40 First meeting between Jack and Locke since the season premiere. I’m pretty sure the whole premise of the show revolves around these two main characters, so it’s always exciting when they have a scene…but a little less exciting when they immediately cut away from said scene.

06:57 The gist of Desmond’s bomb speech: they’re pretty screwed. I’d be heading back to the island if I were them.

08:18 Here’s Ben, captured and tied up again like he’s been for 75% of this season. Has there been an episode of Lost where neither Ben nor Kate has been captured by someone? Doesn’t feel like it.

11:00 Feels kinda weird rooting for the Others, but it was rather cool to see them kick ass against the mercenaries.

13:33 Yeah, Kate, I don’t know if I would pick this moment to start believing Ben. Just flying off the island on that helicopter sounds a little too easy, right?

14:05 It’s significantly-older Walt!

15:30 And this Jeremy Bentham visited Walt. Ok, definitely not Michael…and not Locke…and not Ben. Could else is left? Widmore? Suddenly, I’m extremely confused…

15:44 ANSWER ALERT! The O6 are lying b/c it’s the only way to protect those who didn’t come back. Well, to quote Hurley a few episodes ago, we knew that like forever ago…

15:56 This scene is full of interesting tidbits. Michael is also alive and well (ok we don’t know if he’s well) back on the island.

18:46 Why doesn’t Locke just tell people he used to be paralyzed? He’s trying to convince people that the island is a place of miracles. What better way than to give them an example of a miracle? Rose would back his story. He needs to come up with something better than “you’re not supposed to leave”.

19:19 Glad to know I’m not the only one who doesn’t know what anthuriums look like.

24:18 I love Miles! Did I mention that yet? Charlotte’s been on the island before. Is she former Dharma?

24:54 Something just occurred to me: I wonder who is controlling the bomb right now? Keamy’s dead…

25:44 Nice!!! An orientation video!

26:45 “unique experiments in both space and time”

28:43 Hmmm…someone is coming down to the Orchid station. Who’s left?

31:58 Didn’t someone kill Keamy earlier this episode? I was just getting used to not having his ass marching around the island.

33:36 Heartrate monitor connected to the C4 on the freighter. It’s like watching Saw 3 all over again, minus all the gruesomeness and bad acting.

34:53 I guess Ben doesn’t mind killing innocent people anymore.

34:54 We haven’t seen a flash forward in a while. Just an observation.

36:23 There is something in the pit of my stomach that is telling me that Juliet isn’t making it through this episode…

38:59 Toss out the extra weight: bottles, bags, weapons, Sawyer.

40:45 My guess is that the Zodiac will pick up Sawyer, because he isn’t swimming back to shore.

42:54 We’re probably not going to find out who this Bentham is until the final scene. Hurley was ready to give it up until Sayid shut him down. Security seems a little lacking at Santa Rosa.

45:33 No, Jin, the correct answer is go.

47:43 Yeah, Michael, talk some sense into your boy. I don’t think they can get more than 6 or 7 people on that helicopter.

49:34 Hmmm…doesn’t look good for Michael and Jin. Very sad. But a little anticlimactic for the death of two major characters, so I’m not so sure they’re dead yet.

52:26 Sun has common interests with Widmore. The only common interest would be that they both want to find the island. I think Jin’s still alive…but that may be wishful thinking.

53:45 Wow…Sawyer swam back to the island. He should join the Olympic team. That’s quite the distance.

55:38 If you move the island, you can’t ever come back. Ben’s got his Dharka on, the same one we saw him when he appeared in the desert. But he had a gunshot wound then, so look for him to get shot before the end of this episode.

57:28 So begins the reign of Locke, leader of the Others.

58:21 Ok…not a gunshot wound. Ben’s just a clumsy ass.

61:54 In case anyone ever asks, that is what moving an island looks like.

62:56 I was about to say that it’s hard to imagine anyone surviving the helicopter crash into the ocean, then I remembered that they did survive the PLANE CRASH, so anything is possible.

65:28 What does one do while stranded in the middle of the ocean? Makes being stranded on an island seem not so bad…

67:05 Hi, Claire! Nice for you to drop by for the finale…

68:51 Jack has a pretty bad case of denial. He should get that looked at. Even for a man of science, it’s hard to accept anything other than the island moved.

70:35 Nice to see that Jack, after 4 seasons, finally is listening to Locke and is heeding his advice about lying to protect the rest of the survivors.

71:27 Penny to the rescue!

77:30 Probably the last flash forward…time to find out who’s in that damn coffin! This should be interesting b/c I have NO idea!

82:12 Jeremy Bentham = Locke, and everyone, all of them, must go back.

Great finale. A lot of bad things happened once the O6 left? What’s left to happen? Many questions going into the hiatus: what happened on the island after it was moved, what happened to the Zodiac with Dan, are Michael and Jin really dead, how are the O6 going to get back to the island, is Locke really dead? That’s a lot to chew on for the next 8 months.

So that’s it for Season 4. Couldn’t have asked for much more. I’ll review the first 3 seasons at some point over the hiatus so look for more journals in a few weeks/months. Until then…

7 out of 10 coconuts

I chose poorly and watched the fucking second part.  I’m going to go and stab myself in the eyes right now…

*sigh*

I have a small dilemma.  I watched the 2-hour part one of the new Andromeda Strain movie on A&E.  It was remarkably boring, tedious, and hokey.  The only way I made it through the entire movie was because I kept thinking it was going to be over in two hours.  By the 1:45 mark, I started worrying that the movie wouldn’t end in 15 minutes…and I was right, there’s a 2-hour part two.

Now, here is my dilemma.  I have already wasted 2 hours of my life watching this swill.  I could cut my losses and be done with it.  Or, I could suck it up (much like part one did) and finish the movie.  For all I know, the second part could be much better.  It’s sitting there on my Tivo, so I could just fast forward through the dull parts and make it a nice, tidy 45-minute movie.  If I delete it, I will feel like I wasted 2 hours on part one.  If I watch it, I run the risk of wasting more of my time.

Life is full of tough decisions like this…

After being too busy to rant for the last couple of days, I’m back with more little things that annoy me.  My biggest gripe right now is with NBA players who like to argue with the referees over EVERY FUCKING call!  I understand that you may not agree with calls now and then.  That’s fine.  They blow a lot of calls…I get that.  But geez…don’t argue every call, especially if you actually make the shot.

Look, I love Kobe more than anyone else, but nothing pisses me off more than when we drives the lane, probably gets hacked but there no call, misses the shot, and then argues with the ref while the opposition is off on a fast break.  Do you really think that the ref is suddenly going to change his mind, stop play, and reverse his decision?  No!  So why don’t you go back and play some D…chances are they won’t call a foul on you either!

This phenomenon gets worse during the playoffs, with some of the biggest offenders being Kobe, LeBron, Paul Pierce (who, apparently, has never driven the lane and NOT gotten fouled…oh and someone should probably tell him to lay off the cheeseburgers, he’s an ACL away from turning into Oliver Miller), and Sheed.  I know why they do it too.  It’s to pass the blame.  Instead of just missing the shot, they blame the refs for missing the shot.  It’s kinda like when I complain that I’m not getting a big raise b/c my company is cheap rather than b/c I like to write blogs during work hours.

Netflix tried very hard to prevent me from watching Juno.  This film had been atop of my Netflix queue for 2 weeks before they finally sent it to me.  Never had I had any difficulties in getting my requested movies on time, but because of high demand, it took three weeks, which artificially builds my expectations for this movie.  High expectations are typically a death knell for movies.  But finally, Juno arrived safely in my mailbox and this weekend’s movie rant centers on the Oscar-winning film.

The film centers on a teenage pregnancy and the impending adoption of the baby.  Ellen Page carries the movie with the sardonic way she (Juno) handles such a life-altering experience, although I was somewhat distracted by the fact that I couldn’t remember where I had seen her before (Hard Candy) and had to stop and wikipedia it half way through the movie.  Juno is a self-confident girl who can figure out what she wants and isn’t afraid to tackle a problem head on…too bad they don’t make real girls like this.  Micheal Cera stars as the father of the baby and apparently has mastered the role of dorky teenage boy who somehow gets laid by the far more attractive teenage girl.

The Good: sarcastic humor that I can relate to, likeable characters, no throw away scenes, a crisp, clean running time of 96 minutes.

The Bad: I’m a pretty harsh critic of movies and typically have a lot of negative criticisms to spew once I’ve seen a new flick.  However, surprisingly, I have nothing negative to say about Juno.  That’s not to say that it is my favorite movie of all time, but there were no flaws to nitpick.

7 out of 10 California rolls