I was in Borders over the weekend looking for a book to purchase.  This was probably the third or fourth book I’ve bought post-college…for me, navigating a Border’s is kinda like John Travolta accidentally wandering into a good movie.  After about 20 minutes of searching, I settled on a book and proceeded to the check-out line.  Now, even though I usually don’t read books, I’ve many a magazine from both Border’s and Barnes and Noble.  And it’s pretty obvious that the requirements for employment at these establishments are that: 1) you’re female or female-esque, 2) you haven’t had sex in the past calendar year, 3) you couldn’t have sex even if you suddenly found yourself on a submarine in the middle of the Persian Gulf, and 4) had some semblance of a sense of humor.  Extra consideration goes to former middle school English teachers and elementary school librarians.

As I waited in line, I looked down and noticed a Jesus Christ action figure.  There was someone there actually considering buying one of these.  Imagine getting one of these when you were a child.  I would rather get a pair of dirty socks.  What kind of Bible thumper do you need to be to be so deluded into thinking a child would actually want this?  And what does one do with a Jesus action figure?  He seems too big to intermix with GI Joe’s.  Barbie would probably flirt with him and Ken would kick his ass.  Do they even make Barbie’s and GI Joe’s anymore?  Have I dated myself?  If my child wanted a Jesus action figure, I would probably get into a lot of trouble.  During Christmas, I like to take my sister’s baby Jesus ceramic figurine and place him in inappropriate positions with the miscellaneous manger fauna.  Thankfully I do not believe in hell!